* Translation by Yehoshua Siskin
"I want to share a thought which, if internalized, could perhaps change our lives," Rabbi Shneur Ashkenazi declared to participants of the "Mitchadshot" (Women's Renewal) workshop.
"Which mitzvah is the most popular on Seder night? It's the afikoman, of course, over which negotiations are conducted with the kids in order to get it back from them before midnight and finish the Seder properly. What is this game all about? What's the idea anyway?
"On Seder night, the night of education, a paramount educational insight is revealed: Children search for what we hide. They do not look at the table, but between the sofa cushions. Children do not focus on what their parents say to them in public, what they preach, but at what their parents truly care about, deep in their hearts.
"The most important thing we can give to our children is what is most important to us. And they will know what this is. If their father has something that he is unwilling to give up, if their mother has a value that is most precious to her, the children will absorb and appreciate it too. Our children know how to read us. If we volunteer, if we attend a Torah class, if we show enthusiasm for a principle that is engraved deep in our souls -- we will not need to talk about it all that much. Our children will see and understand the 'afikoman' that is inside us.
"In the world of marketing, there is a well-known saying: 'People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will not forget what you made them feel.' This is also true of the influence we have on our children. If we can inspire our children, get them excited, and fill them with joy over the right experiences, they will not forget the feeling and the meaning of those moments.
"Therefore, the more we will demand of ourselves, the less we will need to fight with our children. They will simply understand the message that is most important to us and integrate it into their lives. Seder night is an opportunity to excite them over the most exciting story in all of human history, the Exodus from Egypt."
