Today, members of the Dee family end their shiva period as they mourn the deaths of mother Lucy and daughters Rina and Maia. I was invited to the school where Rina had been a student and spoke as follows:
"A young man went to the kitchen in the office where he worked to pour himself a cup of coffee. On the way back to his desk, the coffee spilled. Why exactly was it that coffee was spilled? Because coffee was in the cup. If tea had been in it, then tea would have spilled.
When we are thrown for a loop, when something unexpected and terrible suddenly happens, what "spills out" of us -- the way we respond -- is an expression of who we truly are. If we are filled with anger, resentment, and bitterness, this is what spills out of us. If, on the other hand, we are full of faith and Torah learning and good character traits, then that is what spills out.
Last week you were thrown through a horrible loop. Yet alongside your sadness and tears, the goodness with which you are filled has "spilled out." So many beautiful and strengthening words have been spoken, so many initiatives of kindness and light to perpetuate the blessed memory of Lucy, Maia and Rina Dee have been launched.
Even when coping with a small crisis such as a failed exam, a conflict with a friend, or a disagreement with our parents, the words and emotions that spill out of us are a reflection of the character traits and attitude that fill us within.
May we hear only good news in the future."
