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What can we learn from the first shidduch in history?

Translation by Yehoshua Siskin

Tzuriel Gabizon, founder of "Project 252" for those searching for a lifetime partner, wrote several rules regarding the shidduch process. These rules are based on this week's Torah portion in which Yitzchak and Rivka meet, fall in love, and establish a home together:

* Distance does not matter. Avraham tells Eliezer: "Do not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites." He sends Eliezer far away to Charan to seek a suitable bride for YItzchak. If it is suggested that you meet someone even though the physical distance between you is great, don't dismiss the offer.

* And she said, "I will also draw water for your camels." Eliezer asks Rivka for a drink, and she also brings water for his camels. She gives much more than is asked of her. Do not make calculations based on

"what I did for you" versus "what you did for me." Give without any thought of what you will get. Surprise each other with your goodness and kindness.

* "And he said: 'Blessed is HaShem, the God of my master Avraham, who did not withhold his kindness.'" God is the third partner in the connection you seek. Don't stop praying and giving thanks for every opportunity you are given to meet a potential partner. Even if the date is a failure, give thanks and try to find something good that you learned from the other person. Every unsuccessful date brings you closer to the successful one.

* "Now Yitzchak was on his way, coming from Be'er Lachai Ro'i." Rashi writes on this verse that while Avraham was worrying about a shidduch for Yitzchak, Yitzchak was worrying about a shidduch for Avraham after the death of Sarah. You want to find your match? Worry about matching others."

* It is told of Rivka when she first saw Yitzchak: "And she took a veil and covered herself." Modesty engenders love. Keep your connection private, honor and dignify what you are trying to build together. Don't put your life together and every special moment up on social media. If you truly love each other, you do not need the validation and likes of others.

Good luck.


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